CHRISTMAS is the worst time of year for the members of Forever Parents, along with the birthdays of the children they have lost.

It was the dread of facing family festivities with that empty seat at the table, the missing pile of presents under the tree, and the gloom of the winter months ahead that prompted two of them to do something they’d never done since they themselves were children.

Barbara Duggan and Julie Forster started to run.

“Long dark winter days are hard to survive when you are missing your precious child,” said Barbara.

“It’s hard to find motivation to get out and exercise, which can become a vicious circle of declining fitness, social isolation, weight gain, anxiety and depression, especially for those trying to deal with the intense grief of losing a child.”

Looking back over this past year, the two women can see how far they have come not just physically, but emotionally, and that is why they are speaking out now – to highlight the help available for others on the same terrible path.

They first met when they joined joined the support group for bereaved parents launched two years ago by Hexham bereavement counsellor the Rev. Janet Jackson.

Indeed, it was Barbara who came up with the group’s name. She told me at the time: “Janet said ‘you think of a name’, so I called it Forever Parents, because you are still a parent.

“You are still that child’s parent, even though they aren’t alive any more, and I think lots of people forget that.”

The life of Barbara’s 18-year-old daughter Lucy was snuffed out by a boy racer – supposedly a friend of Lucy’s – doing speeds of up to 130mph when he gave her and two other friends a lift home from Corbridge in August 2013.

He smashed into another car head-on after losing control going over the little stone bridge at Dilston Haugh. He was subsequently sentenced to four years in prison.

Julie’s only child, Freya, a pupil at Beaufront First School, was suddenly taken ill during a school swimming lesson at the Wentworth Centre in January 2015.

The best efforts of pool-side staff and the Great North Air Ambulance proved no match for the burst brain aneurysm that took the seven-year-old.

Today, Barbara said: “We hope we can inspire those bereaved parents who have the difficult task of rebuilding their lives.”

The idea is that each group runs for a year supported by Forever Parents, with fortnightly meetings the first six months and then monthly meetings the second half of the year, before going forward as a group of friends.

The next new group will start in the new year.

The friendships that have grown up among members have been a lifeline. “Having become friends, Julie and I were both looking for an activity to help us through last winter,” she said.

“Julie suggested we joined Jog on the Tyne beginners group, even though I hadn’t run since school and Julie had never run in her life.”

The long and the short of it is that they were soon hooked and running jogging longer and longer distances. “We started by doing a mix of running and walking, slowly building up the time we ran for.

“Jog on The Tyne were so friendly. They showed us how to warm up, cool down and run up and down hills correctly.”

They began training with ‘JOT’ every Tuesday morning and were encouraged to do two sessions of ‘homework’ each week.

“We’d only just started to get out of the house generally, but we were soon looking forward to our sessions, even when the weather was cold and wet.

“We progressed to the next group and tackled our first Park Run. It was hard to believe we were enjoying the running so much that it had become an important part of our lives, so much so we considered entering the Great North Run.

“When we first started, we could never have imagined taking on a challenge like that.”

But take it on they did, and in the process chose to raise funds for the Great North Air Ambulance, which responded to the emergency calls in relation to both their daughters.

They were delighted when they beat their original targets of £300 each to raise a grand total of £3,700.

“The air ambulance does such invaluable work, saving lives,” she said. “And every rescue mission costs a huge amount of money, so we were overwhelmed by how much sponsorship we received.

“Our big day arrived; we wore tutus with our daughters’ names on and hoped our angels would lend us their wings to help us along the way.

“We made it to the finish line in just under three hours. It was an emotional moment achieving what had seemed like the impossible.”

Information about Forever Parents and the new group about to start can contact Janet Jackson via email: revjan307@btinternet.com. It is for bereaved parents no matter what age their offspring when they died, or how long ago.

each group meets fort nightly for the first six months and monthly for the 2 nd six months. Many of us continue to meet and support each other with the unique understanding we have of child loss. This week we have had our annual candle lighting remembrance service. A great comfort at a difficult time of year when many are celebrating and having family get togethers. It is hoped a new group will start in the new year.