I WAS driving sedately through Wark the other day when a police Land Rover pulled out in front of me and after driving some quarter of a mile at 18mph, the blue lights suddenly burst into life, and a red sign appeared in the back window commanding me to stop.
Friday, 13 January, 2017 at 10:30AM
I WAS watching my grandson playing football the other day, and marvelled at his silky skills as he put in thunderous shots with both feet, soared like a marlin to plant headers beyond the keeper’s reach and put in a series of bone-crunching tackles.
Friday, 06 January, 2017 at 10:00AM
IN CASE it has escaped your attention in the enormous excesses of the festive season, tomorrow night is New Year’s Eve, when the whole merry-go-round starts up again.
Friday, 30 December, 2016 at 10:49AM
T HROUGHOUT Tynedale, and indeed the rest of the land, tea towels, stripy dressing gowns and cardboard crowns reduced grown men and women to tears as schools celebrated the Nativity in the way they have done since I was a lad.
Friday, 23 December, 2016 at 8:02AM
IT’S not often that the arrival of pedlars of religious tracts, brazen charity muggers or trick or treaters is greeted with beams of delight at Hextol Towers.
Friday, 16 December, 2016 at 9:00AM
H OW soon is it acceptable to start putting up the Christmas decorations?
Friday, 09 December, 2016 at 11:47AM
G OD bless super glue, the perfect panacea for the multiple failings of DiY duffers like me!
Friday, 02 December, 2016 at 11:52AM
THERE is an oft-quoted fallacy that if you remember the 1960s, you weren’t really there.
Friday, 25 November, 2016 at 10:00AM
I HAVE been putting it off for many months now, but the time cannot be far away when I will be ordered to start assembling and erecting the new bathroom cabinet we bought from B&Q back in the spring.
Friday, 11 November, 2016 at 10:20AM
IT was 3am, and I was wandering round the Hextol Towers conservatory in the dark, sans clothes or spectacles, when I was attacked by a deadly spitting cobra.
Friday, 04 November, 2016 at 10:58AM
DOES anyone remember the Numskulls, the comic strip from the Beezer featuring the little people who live inside everyone, operating their bodily functions like a complex machine?
Friday, 28 October, 2016 at 10:00AM
SINCE drifting quietly off into the twilight world of retirement and domesticity, one thing that has been drawn forcibly to my attention is the number of unsolicited telephone calls which are directed to Hextol Towers.
Friday, 21 October, 2016 at 10:30AM
HAVE you ever had one of those days when you wish the ground would open up and swallow you whole?
Friday, 07 October, 2016 at 10:30AM
T HE latent hunter gatherer instincts lurking deep in my inner soul always come bubbling to the surface during the season of mist and mellow fruitfulness.
Friday, 30 September, 2016 at 12:22PM
A FTER having it lying unused in my wallet for the past five years, I broke new ground in the panoply of pensioners’ perks last week.
Friday, 23 September, 2016 at 11:30AM
A FTER more than a year of hirpling around Hexham in various stages of agony, I am finally due to go under the surgeon’s knife this week.
Friday, 16 September, 2016 at 11:30AM
I MADE the mistake the other day of looking back at some old photographs in what was supposed to be a major chucking out exercise.
Friday, 09 September, 2016 at 10:00AM
I HAVE a completely unscientific theory that certain people give out their own unique auras that have a dramatic effect on everything around them.
Thursday, 01 September, 2016 at 2:45PM
DO you suffer from bingo wings, crepey flesh and poor muscle tone in your arms?
Friday, 19 August, 2016 at 11:08AM
WHAT is it about the whiff of canvas and rubber, the twang of guy ropes and the all-pervading stench of propane that makes camping such an appealing proposition?
Friday, 12 August, 2016 at 11:00AM